The
other weekend once again highlighted the extremes within the life of
the last line of defence, the man between the sticks, your common or
garden goalkeeper. Stoke City goalie Asmir Begovic scores for his side
against Southampton from his own penalty area (admittedly heavily wind
assisted), Swansea City number one Mart Poom manages to get himself sent
off for wiping out Cardiff’s DJ Campbell with a blatent professional
foul, meanwhile Spurs ‘keeper Hugo Lloris played on against Everton
after being knocked unconscious after colliding with Romelu Lukaku’s
knee.
To be a decent goalkeeper, you have to be a bit barmy to be
honest. Why else would you want to dive full length at the feet of
someone running full tilt and run the risk of what happened to Lloris,
or worse still the injury Chelsea’s Petr Cech
suffered a few years ago? I recall one of my P.E teachers several
decades ago saying ‘keepers are just bad rugby union players – they can
get their hands to the ball, but very rarely hold it’. A bit harsh, to
be far. I think Gordon Banks and Peter Shilton would see it as a bit
more complicated than just that.
Obviously, this position
requires a player who is virtually fearless, has very good vision of how
a game can flow, scant disregard for their own personal safety and
well-being and reflexes second only to that of a cat. Plus, the desire
to spoil a forward’s day, stopping a wonderful solo effort or
blockbusting thirty yard drive, which to the ‘keeper I’m sure is as
equally satisfying as scoring a hat-trick, but to the bulk of fans makes
the goalie somewhat of a party-pooper. A goalkeeper can never win,
really – seen as a villain by the majority, a buffoon by a section of
his own supporters but a hero to others when he pulls off a penalty save
or sends the opposition’s star player skywards while collecting the
ball legally. Or illegally, depending who he has sent airborne.
Begovic is not the first ‘keeper to score from his own end of the field.
He joined an elite group, alongside Pat Jennings and Steve Ogrizovic
who have also achieved same. Other goalies have ran the length of the
pitch in the final throws of a game in order to cause havoc in the
opposition’s area and gain that elusive equaliser, Peter Schmeichel
being particularly famous for this in his pomp (and scored a few times
too). While this full-length of the pitch kick that goes in occurs only
very rarely from time-to-time, imagine how the guy at the other end of
the field must feel, having had his opposite number score past him from a
good seventy yards plus away (in the case of a couple of grounds due to
a quirk of their location over a boundary, from a different county).
It’s bad enough to have Sergio Aguerio score a peach against you, but to
have Joe Hart
do same, I’d be tempted to give up the day job and leave the country to
live out the rest of my natural in complete obscurity. Tapping up Cliff
Richard to establish does he need any more staff in his Portuguese
vineyards would be a serious option.
The professional foul is
something all goalkeepers will be prone to committing once they run down
a forward charging straight at them. I understand the reasoning why –
hopefully their charge will intimidate the forward into shooting too
early or making a mistake, but nowadays they’ve got savy to this and
stand their ground. Goalkeepers are far from the game’s best tacklers,
so the forward will wait – a red card for the ‘keeper will be a dead
cert as the two players collide at a far rate of knots. However, this
wasn’t always the case, as back in the early eighties an incident
occurred that made the reason for Poom’s sending off against Cardiff
seem more like a game of Ring-a-Ring Of Roses.
Back in the 1982
World Cup semi-final between France and West Germany, the French were on
the attack seeking a winning goal, and at long last burst through the
stubborn German defence. Frenchman Patrick Battison was now through on
goal, with just Harald Schumacher to beat. A goal for le Bleus seemed
inevitable. The German ‘keeper however, had other thoughts. Instead of
trying to tackle Battison, he forced the France player into shooting at
goal early (he missed) as he charged at him, but continued his run and
leapt directly into him mid-air. Due to the heavy collision occurring at
speed, Battison was immediately knocked unconscious, collapsing onto
the grass. Incredibly, the referee overseeing the game didn’t even award
France a free-kick, let alone any disciplinary action against
Schumacher. The West German shot-stopper proceeded to take the goal kick
that restarted the game, and play resumed. The injuries to Battison
were quite severe – he had three teeth knocked out, damage to several
vertebra, and slipped into a coma. I’m sure Schumacher did not intend to
hurt Battison at all, merely make him miss the target by charging him
down, but it still begs belief why the German had to launch himself full
length into the French player after he had already shot for goal.
On a more light-hearted note to end to this missive, the most hilarious
episode of a ‘keeper playing on after serious injury was during the
1991 League Cup Final between Manchester United
and Sheffield Wednesday. In an accidental collision between United
number one Les Sealey and Wednesday forward Paul Williams, Sealey needed
lengthy and somewhat extensive treatment on the hallowed Wembley turf.
It was clear from the body language and reaction of the United physio
Sealey really should leave the field of play. However, this was before
clubs began having a spare goalkeeper on the bench just for such an
emergency. If the ‘keeper was injured, an outfield player who was a
reasonable shot-stopper of sorts (more of a token jesture, really),
would have to don the green jersey and gloves and take over. This would
have left the Manchester club without a proper ‘keeper in a cup final
they were losing at the time. Sealey had none of it – remonstrating
quite vehemently and at some subsequent length he was not leaving the
pitch. Not on his life. No way on this Earth. It was quite farcical to
observe – he was clearly badly injured, needed to leave the game, but
was having none of it, on several occasions bordering on fisticuffs if
anyone attempted to even suggest he should surrender his shirt. Maybe
he’d watched ‘Monty Python and the Holy Grail’ the night before and
fancied himself as the Dark Knight.
And who can forget Liverpool’s
Bruce Grobbelaar with his ‘spaghetti legs’ during the penalty shoot-out
at the end of the 1984 European Cup Final. It did the trick, putting
off the opposition. The Merseyside club won their fourth European Cup,
as the coolest man on the field that night was the Reds’ shot-stopper.
Like I said at the start of this article, you have to be a bit barmy to
be a ‘keeper to be honest.
